I was walking in the forest in a foggy day. Despite foggy, the weather was pleasant, it was not too cold, and it was a good day for a walk. That forest touched me more than any other place. I began to walk along a river bank, and the colors ... ah the colors ... were wonderful, all kinds of green, yellow, brown, especially with the fall coming. The day was coming to an end, so the shadows were beginning to take over the place. Still, a few rays of sunlight could penetrate the clouds and when they touched the trees their involvement was magical and impressive.
In the distance, every now and then, I heard a crow or other bird, that were preparing themselves for the night to come. Moreover I only listened to the waters of a small stream running into the sea or the trees been wrapped, as happy to receive the last rays of the sun.
I felt protected there. It was my magical place, where I felt happy and welcomed when I needed to be alone. I knew the forest and I knew that I had not much more than half an hour to turn back and go home because the night would come soon. Then I stopped and sat by the creek, and just let me stay there contemplating the harmony of sounds that crisscrossed each other.
I was thinking about my daily routine and started thinking about what I would do in the next day. However the sounds began to take over me and slowly I could only perceive my own breath, just enjoying the moment. These were rare moments when I could finally feel grounded and feel what was surrounding me. I could even hear the drum beat of the earth, it was a magnificent sound.
I was so focused on the drums when I heard someone singing. I turned myself to the sound a little upset because it broke my concentration, but did not see anyone. I continued to hear the sound but saw no one where the sound was supposed to come from. The sound became louder as if it was just a few steps away from me, but when I looked I only saw brambles and blackberries, which hugged a tree who fell towards the creek.
Gradually, over the sound of someone singing, I heard sounds coming from the brambles, as if some animal was there. I approached the brambles so the animal would go away and I could continue listening to the sound of that clear voice. A song That was taking me to the center of myself, as if it was awakening something primitive in me.
As I approached, I heard a scream, when I looked in the direction of my feet I saw a little being in a shape of a man with his hands on his mouth. He looked like a gnome. The berries that he had been catching were now scattered in the middle of the floor. I lowered myself stunned, not knowing if I was having a daydream or if I was having any kind of vision. I touched the little basket that had fallen.  It looked like a toy basket because it was really small. However, it looked like it was manufactured by the best craftsman. The gnome was scared as I was picking the blackberries back to the basket. When I finished, I pointed him the basket:
"There you go!"
Slowly he took his hands from his mouth and held out his arms to the side with the palms facing in my direction, his expression was still dazed.
"You can see me? How?"
I smile at him and said:
"Probably you are part of my dream… If so, I do not want to wake up so quickly! There is a long time since I saw someone like you"
"Have you seen more like me? How? When" He really looked surprised.
"I did… A long time ago… I was younger.  The last time I was 10 years old… I thought it was a dream, or just my imagination, but why am I seeing you now"
"I cannot talk to you! It is forbidden… we cannot show ourselves, and normally you do not see us anyway"
"So this is not a dream?"
"No… Yes… I have to go before I say something that I should not! I do not know what can be said or not, this has never happened… at least the last time was many years ago, long before my grandfather was born… it is just a story… ops… I have to go"
And he began to move away.
"Wait! Do not go, please! Why is it forbidden? What is your name" And he stopped, pondering... after some moments he answered.
"If I tell you my name, I will be linked to you! That means that you will know everything about me... about yourself... but I am not allow to do so, because you are not prepared yet! We normally speak and appear to children yes… but never to an adult"
"But why? I was suspicious that you existed… but I stopped seeing you… You have never played with me anymore" I felt like a child asking my best friend why he did not want to play with me anymore... but images from the past were rushing in my head!
"No… we did not stop playing with you… you just forgot about us, that we existed! You grew up and with that all your openess and purity slowly became weak until they disappear. Then you only believed in what was in front of your eyes and not what it was already part of you… you just forgot…"
"So… Why can I see you now"
"I do not know! Maybe you want to remember... I cannot explain it… I have to go now… I said already more than I should have!"
He grabbed the basket and ran away from me. I stopped seeing him soon he went into the bushes and, soon after, I stopped hearing him also. When I looked around it was night. I had to go home… and so it was. I turned away from the stream, but first I thanked for this small gift. Was it a dream, a vision or reality, it had awakened something inside me, which I thought I had lost long time ago.
From that day my life started to change, little things. I stopped been so depressed and really began having a different relationship with my children. I allowed myself to let them show me how it was to be a child again. I never saw the gnome again, even going every week to the forest since that day now. My kids go with me now, and I am teaching them some things that I thought I had forgotten, how I liked to create stories. I taught them also how to observe and respect what was around them, such as trees, animals, the creek, the course of life and how everything is part of us, that all is connected. I also told them that we have to try not to forget, since we tend to do it, to forget this little and important aspects of our lives.
I did not tell them about the gnome, there was no need, and probably they would not believe me anyway. Two years after I saw him, my life was completely different. I was working on something that I liked and believed: writing.  My relationship with my family improved by the day, especially with my kids, who, before,  only saw me once a week, as I always arrived home after they go to bed and because of that I hardly knew them. I started to look at myself  and slowly I rediscovered who I was and what I should really appreciate.
Last week I was on my way home, from a walk in the forest, with my children and my youngest touches my shoulder. I looked at him from the rearview mirror; he smiles at me and says:
"Father… Ruhin asked me to tell you that you already know! He said that you would understand this when you hear it… What does that mean?"
My eyes were filled with tears and I let one out and run through my face… I did not answer my son, it was a rhetorical question. And even if it was not, he would understand it one day… but not today! Today was a day that I was touched. What I did not realize until then was that I was touched two years ago, but only now I could understand the whole of that day. I knew that name already. I just did not want to remember it… I did not want to remember who I was...


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