Remembering in Samuhinn
Green pastures lost in sight
Blue sky with no end
Clouds are in the mist of the horizon
And I? Just stayed there...
Looking for and not finding
And waited... waited...
Until he came, and sat...
So much love, so much promise
One look said it all
No words were necessary
My breath was lost in the moment
A moment that would last forever
All around us was a prayer
A prayer of love and hope
A prayer of sorrow and remembrance
I close my eyes and took a long breath
When I opened them I was lost...
The pastures were dry
The sky was dark
The clouds were tormented
And you... you were gone...
I stayed there remembering
What one day was and will not ever be
And still I feel you in my dreams
When I am awake you follow me
I hear you in my thoughts
You are my torment and my salvation
Without you I am half
With you I am insane
I should let you go
But the world without your whisper
Is an unimaginable pain...
And here I am again...
Waiting for you to come...
I cannot hear when they say
That you were gone long time ago...
To never return again...

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Halloween/Samhuinn
Halloween/ Samhuinn is coming!!!


Uau... many are the celebrations for this time of the year! A beautiful and wonderful time of  the year! People go out to the streets to celebrate! Celebrate what?


From October 31st until November 2nd, the doors to the otherworld are open! Which means that whatever belief you may have, it is time to celebrate life and death. We all join in prayers for the ones that are not in this physical world anymore. With this time there is a hope of been together again with our loved in the form of celebrations and prayers.



October 31th is the All-Hallows Day
November 1st is the All-Saints Day
November 2nd is the All Souls Day


These three days are an important mark in our history traditions as human beings. It is also said that it is the end of a year to a new year, a time of transition, because it marks the end of summer and the beginning of winter, the end of harvests. The days will begin to be shorter, as we stay more in the warm of our houses than outside.

Let us celebrate life and death. Let us say our last year goodbye to summer and welcome winter.


What can we do then? Besides the streets costumes and celebrations?
- Have a family gathering and realize and appreciate what your family is to you
- Throw away what you think you will not use anymore
- Dance like if no one was looking
- Cook something different and new to you
- Be creative and try to feel what would you like to do differently from what you already do. Just do it!
 

HAPPY HALLOWEEN/ SAMHUINN!!!
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It is...
It is in little things that we are what we are..
It is in actions that we show ourselves
It is in words and actions that we change situations
It is in ideas that we develop
But it is in loving, caring and giving that we change lifes

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I hear...
I hear the anguish cry of an eagle
a cry full of pain and sorrow
a powerfull farewell to the one she loved


I hear the strong hoofs of a horse
he runs without fear and destiny
courage and freedom he will seek


I hear the magical song of a whale
deep down in the caverns of the ocean
where truth and magic will be found


I hear a seal sing about love and beauty
a world untouched by cruelty and fear
a lost promisse to a hungry heart


I hear the call of a blackbird
who lives in the gateway to the otherworld
an enchanted life to be dreamed


I hear the awareness of an owl
who is the guardian of the night
longing to share wisdom and vision


I hear their unanswered prayer
to a world lost in faith
to a world that forgot how to hear.


In memorial... of a soul who heard...

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A Promise

This photo was taken in Himmelbjerg, April 2009 by Mafalda Seguro

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Shadows... and Light
There I was, in the middle of a forest... It was dark, the sky was full of stars and the moon was light and full. 

My breath was fast, my eyes wanted to pop up from my face and tears started to fall... You see, I am afraid of the dark, and there I was, in the middle of a forest that I did not know, with all the noises... Noises that I love from the day time and were different now, as if the forest was more alive, more alert and chasing after me...

I ran... Where to go? I had no idea... I did not even remember how I get there... I just wanted to find something or someone that could help me or guide me.

I ran and kept running, but there was nowhere to go... as far I could tell maybe I was going into the heart of the forest instead of finding a way out... But I just ran... and ran... Until I stopped...

I could not run anymore, my heart was poundering and my breath was hard and heavy. Tears kept going... In that moment I could not do more... and tears seemed to calm me down... I took control of my breath, slow and rythmic... 

Then... after I do not know how long I oppened my eyes and looked around... 

I was on my knees... My clothes were ruined with the run and the brambles... My arm was hurting, maybe I hit it while I ran... but I did not remember...

As I looked, shapes started to come to my mind... shadows that moved at the same ritm as my heart... These shadows were hidding in the trees, behind big rocks... where was I? How to find my way?

"You already found it..."
I turned to the sound... where? who?
"Who is there?" I was scared... That is why I always take a light with me... Why could not I find the light? There were sounds... someone was moving... I was not alone...
"WHO IS THERE?" I could not control it... I was in hysteria... The trees were coming close now... or were the shadows? I felt dizzy... I let myself down... If they come they would... There was nothing that I could do now... I could not run, they would come after me...
"You should not be scared... we do not want you harmed"
"Who is there???" Silence again... but I kept asking...
"Who is there?" More silence, except sounds of someone or something moving... "please..." I was so tired and scared... 

I let me cuddle and wrap myself in fetus position... I could do no more... My eyes started to close against my will... sounds I heard and my eyes popped oppen again... Until the tiredness took over me... before I went to sleep I just realized how quiet the forest was... the sounds that I thought terrifying were only the sounds of the trees and the wind... I kept hearing the other sound, of someone there, and it was coming close, but I did not open my eyes... If I could not see it would not be real...

That it is what I thought, but even with my eyes closed I saw him coming... I saw him looking at me... those yellow bright eyes, fixed in mine... they had a question but I did not want to understand it... until I was forced to... and all that was built inside me, all that I had learn, was destroyed with that look... a look that I could not let go... and I felt him again... when he layed down next to me, with his warm body... I was cold... the warm was welcome, but even next to me he was far... I could feel him but we were not touching... I took a deep breath and went against his body... only then I let myself open my eyes... He was beautifull... The exaustion took over me and I soon fell asleep... With the warm body in this cold night next to me...

When I woke up in the early morning, the sun had rise not long before... I was still warm... and I was still in the forest... but when I got up I saw no sign of the phanter...

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I have two dreams...

I have two dreams...

It is usual of a person to imagine how her life will be, or at least how she would like it to be. We have many and many dreams... It is healthy, it is what makes us real... How would it be if we lived without dreaming?

Dreams are an area still unknown to us. It is our subconsious? It is what it will happen some day, like a predition? Something that we are crossing in our live but we dream it as with another meaning? Warnings?  Something that already happened that we expected that would end in other way?
I believe that all the above are possible and true... Proofs? I do not have them...
The best thing these days is that you can believe in whatever you want if that makes you happy and healthy.

But going back to the dreams... I have two dreams...
Everyday we try to see how our life will be in the next 5 minutes, 30 minutes, 4 hours, 30 days, 6 months, 5 years, 15 years and so on. And in all this time we imagine/dream about it in several contexts such as family, love, work, friendships or relationships related.
The point is, our head is allways ahed of what we are doing, trying to predict the outcome of our actions and choices. It was the right choice? Maybe if I had done the other way I would not have lost the bus. Or if I had arrived to work later I would not get the promotion. If I had waited more five minutes I would have reach him. And so on...
In our life we use many times the word IF... IF this... If that... If... It can be an excuse, or a way to run from the reality of circunstances, or just the curiosity of another choice or action. The thing is... IF is an important word, it help us to construct realities and options. It can also destroy us... We walk in a thin line with the IF... and we could stay here hours debating about it and never end with it.

But again... I am runing from the dream... I have two dreams...
It is really great when we dream about something that turn our world upside down, in a good way... when we wake up we feel like if we were the king of the world, and we have this smile on our faces hard to take.
And them we have these dreams that are scary, sad or just unconfortable... they really reach our ego, ideas or feelings. They can crash our head in a way that we do not do anything productive besides thinking about it and what did it meant... These ones are hard to chue...
That makes me wonder again, what if... and here we have an if again... but, what if our daily moods are also based with what we dream? It is proved that we dream during an entire night, and most of the time we do not remember any of it. But what we know is if we have a good dream we wake up in a good mood, and if we have a bad dream we wake up in a terrible mood...
But we do not remember our dreams, it is wise to idealize that if we wake up in a good mood we had a good dream and if we had a bod dream we wake up in a bad mood?
So... here is also something to think about... Makes sense in a way... In the other hand it is completly crazy and with no sense at all... But it is just a thought, just an idea, among many others...

Where was I? Ah right... I have two dreams...
It makes sense in a way... supposedly the sleep is a process of rest, where our subconscious takes over our conscious... our body recovers... what we have learnt during the day will be processed... so on... so why do we wake up with moods? Are actually dreams the cause of it? Of course are not just dreams, but maybe they may be part of it.

But I am out of place again... I have two dreams...
And I do not know which one to follow...
It is hard to decide... Is it possible that I could follow them both? Will the outcome be that different? Will I scatter all?
This is the worst situation... When we have a future IF... If I choose one way... And if I choose the other way... But if I choose one the other will or will not...

Like I was saying... I have two dreams...
Do not have we all???


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